Lockwood

35mm

Places/Things

People

Photo Lab

Its really funny that the only time I really can't stand being in the photo lab is on Wednesdays from 3:30-10:30 when I actually have to be in here. Otherwise I live here. Ugh... I'm bored, I also really want some coffee.

Proof

Finally scanned this one in. Pretty much the only photo proof that I was in NYC last spring break, but it's fantastic evidence. I'm re-falling in love with my holga camera.

Photo

I'm trying to figure out what this photo means to me. It was kind of an accident but its probably the best digital photo i've taken in a long time.



Its cold out today. I hope it snows tonight. I need new shoes, pants and money. But i'm happier than i've been in a while because i'm actually really excited about photography right now. Go holgas/film cameras!

Another Drawing

Finished another drawing for book design...its kinda ridiculous but whatever I enjoy it.

Night Photos

So despite being cold whiny upset and bitchy last night I'm happy that we went to take photos. Night view camera pictures are kind of amazing and i'm really glad my friends know how to motivate me. I'm pretty excited about these.

Excerpts from my mind...

Its kinda cliche but I really can't believe its senior year of school. Though its my 5th year and I should have moved on already I feel like college just went by way too fast. This semester has made me really regret being such a bum the last few years, we're already half way through fall term and its pretty much been the best few months ever, especially this week for some reason. I feel like i've just started to appreciate my major, school, friends and my life in general so much.

I need a job. I'm so in debt it freaks me out and the fact I can't even buy gas without going home to beg my parents for money scares the shit out of me. I have to go back to target and thats is kind of a death sentence for me but i guess the paycheck will be worth it.

I am working on figuring out my art. I was just having a conversation with a friend about how we both have great ideas but its like we don't know how to show them. I spend so much time looking at different artists and seeing what they do that I feel like most of my stuff has been done and I can't show it without being seen as a copier. I really just need to be more confident with my ideas because without taking chances and being afraid of failure I will never be able to do anything I can be proud of.

Yesterday I went to the WNY book arts collaborative and it was pretty awesome. I'm really excited to go back and help them get it all together. Being there really made me wish I spent more time down in the print labs. All of the stuff we've been looking at in book design, going to WNYBAC, talking to drive by press and seeing what other friends are doing makes me want to learn all about print making. I think handmade art is fantastic and spending all my time taking photo classes was great but I wish i had the courage to attempt to make the stuff I have always been interested in.

Back to photography... driving around Buffalo reignites my love for architecture of all kinds. I need some motivation to go out and just photograph what I see because I'm basically in lust for all things built in and around Buffalo. However, I've recently realized documentary photography is something I definitely want to get into. My frustration with my camera has been diminishing and my whole obsession with the moment not photographed has quickly become an obsession with the fact that a photo has the ability to stop time and I have been finding a lot of moments in my life need to be captured.

Drawing + Darkroom

This is for book design, its already been painted over again but its one of the first attempts at drawing i've had in a while so i like it. Drawing is quickly becoming one my new favorite things. Along with being obsessed with film and the darkroom. Hopefully more will become of that in the near future despite the attempts by the photo department to stay away from the archaic ideas of darkroom photography. What I think is that its important to know the roots of something and the root of being artistic in my mind is drawing because that is the first artistic thing you learn as a child and darkroom photography is one of the original forms of photography so right now i'm grasping at the roots.

Life

Why can't I just get my shit together? I seriously need a kick in the ass. I'm taking interesting classes and have good ideas I don't know how to get my thoughts together. Senior thesis might kill me, I don't know what the hell i'm going to do for it.