Childe Harold's Pilgrimage

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods;
There is a rapture on the lonely shore;
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more,
From these our interviews, in which I steal
From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal.
-Lord Byron

Sometimes I wish I could live somewhere that I could breath fresh air, run through the woods, swim in a lake and hear true silence. I just have this strong craving for the natural world and to sleep under the stars in my old green sleeping bag.
My thoughts have been turned to the recent tragedy this week, it has made me wonder how come things like this happen all over the world and we never expect them to happen here. I also wonder why the day after something horrible happens the world is so clear, sunny and perfect. It makes the previous day so surreal. I remember the day after 9/11 to be like that. We had soccer practice and it was one of the nicest days we'd had all season. Being on the field looking up in the sky to see no planes anywhere had been the most bizarre part, however its almost as if the world knows we need something to make us forget the tragedy we just experienced so it throws us a beautiful day to make us question the reality of what had happened. Yesterday was one of those days, its also a day that tests the invincibility of your soul. One of my sister's best friend's father was on the flight. I hate seeing people that are close to me hurt. I always wish there was something I could do to make the pain disappear, the best I know how to do is to show my strength so they can feel some source of stability to turn too. The one thing I truly hope is that in a tragic unstoppable situation there is a higher force that just takes the souls of all the people before impact. What goes through the minds of the people, it just horrifies me.
I have always had this invincibility complex that I think nothing bad can ever happen to me and that I have the ability to protect everyone who is close to me. I think one of the main reasons I have been so drawn to empty spaces is that when I'm there I only have myself to protect and I am free to observe without worry of others. I like the serene calmness of places that may normally be busy. I observe and notice way to many things, my senses become overloaded in crowds, I prefer to be in open spaces seeing them for only me. This post is probably making little sense but I have just been thinking about so many things.