Almond Joys

My BFA thesis statement said the following: The grainy and unpredictable nature of the plastic camera results in images that translate the way the natural world appears in my eyes. I set out to document the untouched ground, however ended up finding this sublime world within my photographs. It is a rare thing to be in the presence of a place that has been unseen or corrupted in some way by humanity. Industry can take over but the natural environment has a stronger ability to take back what was once it's own. The landscapes that I have captured illustrate what I consider a natural institution, a place in the world where despite the small glimpses of mankind, the exalted terrain is potentially one step away from unchanged earth.

I wrote this a year and a half ago. A few weeks from graduating and I was close to not even understanding why I was getting a degree in this good for nothing concentration. In the minds of most; everyone is a photographer, everyone owns a camera and most everyone with enough practice or minute talents can take a good photograph, so what sets me apart from the masses? As some would say I have a degree in bullshitting, because concepts and theories make one feel like their work is worth something.

Why am I thinking about all of this now? I guess I'm a little lost, did I expect to be in this place right now? buffalo, maybe? But in this confused, indecisive mind fuck all the time, no. Its hard having friends with degrees that landed them amazing jobs and retirement plans at the age of 24, but do I really want any of that? I don't think I'm ready. I went to school for something that was interesting to me and I enjoyed every second of it, even the all nighters that resulted in tear filled critiques that seemed like the worst thing in the world at the time but something I pay to do now. Every day I go back and forth about what I want to be, what I want to do and where I want to live my life. I try and play it safe and think of ways to make the education I'm getting from my current job help me land a career, or that maybe I should go back to school for a more career minded degree. I have interests in so many different fields, but I shouldn't throw away the four years of my life that i devoted to a life revolving around art.

I learned during the past 650+ days that what's important to me doesn't come in the form vacation time and christmas bonus' but in happiness with myself. I've been coasting for a while and it's time to make some plans.

Going back to my original statement that accompanied the ten 2 x 2 ' holga images I produced I have found a pattern in my thought processes over the years, it still hasn't waivered much from certain ideas but I have discovered more ways to expand of what I have already produced. I have been working this way all along, I have just come to understand myself more and see what in the end I could be capable of.

Its time to stop saying, it's time to start moving.

This could be most refreshing...